After so many years of living with myself, it's kinda hard to believe that I'm still learning about myself. Or maybe I knew that this is how am all along but I never knew how to verbalise it. Whatever it is, I've been learning new things about myself.
#1 I don't really open up to people as easily as I thought I do. Maybe it's ego, maybe it's pride, but if a close friend doesn't ask what's wrong, I would keep everything to myself. If I had a problem, I'll try to solve it myself rather than asking for help. I guess it really is an ego problem.
#2 I really do care what people think about me. According to Tik, I don't seem to care what people think. But really I do. Don't know why. Just do. It's been this way since as far back as I remember. I remember being 6 and wondering what people will think if I wore that.
#3 I don't trust easily. But if I'm willing to go crazy in front of you and show you the real me (be it downright bitchy on bad days [sorry], super whiney on tired days, or crazy happy when everything's going amazing. The good, the bad and the ugly.), I really trust you. I only let my guard down when I trust. People tend to think differently of me once they know me better. But the thing is, if I trust you, why pretend to be someone else?
#4 Once I start caring, I love you. And when I love you, I'll do anything to make you happy. Even of it means making myself do stupid stuffs to brighten up your day. Or travelling in the opposite direction just to get you something you're craving. Haha. I know people think I'm crazy and some people do say "Wah. You got so much money ah?" But really, if it makes you happy, why not? Money is temporal anyways. You don't bring it with you when you're born, you don't take it with you when you're gone. If I can afford to, why not.
#5 I tend to stinge on myself and splurge on others. I tend to be less hesitant about getting something for someone compared to getting something for myself. If you've gone shopping with me before, you'll probably understand. I can stand down there for 30 mins debating in whether to get something and then walking away saying "I probably don't need that" (unless it's nail polish!! OMGOSH!!!). When getting something for someone else however, I'm like "will he/she like it? Yes? Ok get it." I guess cos seeing people happy makes me happy.
#6 I'm easily affected by other people's mood. I tend to be happier when the people around me are happy and sad when they're send. It's like I can feel the same feelings in me. It's weird I know but that's how I am. Mummy says I care too much. I just think I detect vibes too easily.
#7 I have an inevitable fear of being left out. I know most people will think I'm being stupid. But after going through those growing up years that I never wish to re-live. I constantly worry about it even when everything's going well at what point of time. It sucks. But yea.
#8 I'm quite sentimental. I tend to keep stuffs that are given by people who matter or stuffs that mean a lot to me. For example, soft toys aren't really my thing. I will not purposefully go hunting for soft toys or have it on my wishlist of presents. BUT if they're from people who matter... ThatSoftToy'sGonnaBeSittingOnMyBed. Haha. For real. I have them lined up. If you've been to my room, you'll know.
#9 Eventhough I fight with my brother like [CRAZY!] *insert cats fighting sound effect*, I love him a lot!! So glad that we're slowly out-growing the cats and dogs phase of siblinghood. We talk abit more to each other and try to fight less. Well sometimes. Haha. But we're getting there. And I'm glad. Cos who better to camwhore with than your own baby brother! :D
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| Do we look alike? Haha, |
Simply because I feel that if you can't make a difference where you're at, what's the point of being there? I wanna be able to walk away from a place or situation and have people say "WOW. Something's missing."
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