This is too cute. ❤

Vulnerable.

Days like these, I don't know. 

Don't know where I'm from. Don't know where I belong. Don't know where home is. 

But right now, all I want is to be Home. Where I can feel safe. Where I can belong. 

Finding my safe haven. 

But God..

1. I remember how adamant I was about coming to Perth to study. I was certain it was a bad idea. Or maybe I was just tired of moving. 

But God spoke. And so plans were made. 

2. I was so scared that I wouldn't settle down here quickly. That I'll have a hard time fitting in. That I wouldn't be able to adapt. Especially since it's the first time that I've moved without the family. 

But God always knew what to do. He made the transition smooth. He allowed things to fall into place. Besides that, the family was always there to support me. Even if they were miles away. It was almost as if He was saying, "Relax Jannah. I've got it covered. You worry too much." 

3. I was so scared I wouldn't enjoy life in Perth. 

But God blessed me with people to go through this experience with me. However little contribution they've made to the experience so far, they were there for a reason. And that's what I'm thankful for. 

4. I was so scared I'll come here and totally change. I was so scared of how I would end up after this. 

But God didn't let that happen. He gave me the one thing I needed the most. His presence. If that wasn't enough, He blessed me with parents that constantly pray for me. 

5. I was so scared that friendships will go astray. That being apart meant forgetting. That being apart meant drifting apart. 

But God already knew what kind of people I needed in my life before I even met them. If anything, the cliche of "distance making the heart fonder" came into play. If anything, we realised how important our friendships were. 

6. I was so scared I would drift away. So afraid I couldn't stay rooted. 

But God never failed to give me a gentle nudge when I edged off just a tiny bit. He never failed to remind me that He was there. 

7. I thought I was gonna do really bad in school. Honestly. I mean come on.. Genius me picked 3rd year subjects for my 2nd year. D: 

But God blessed me with the wisdom I needed to do well. When I thought I couldn't make it, He gave me more than I expected. 

8. There were days when I couldn't help but wonder why I came here, why I picked journalism out of every other safe and secure degrees I could study. Why why why why WHY. Some days I'm so convinced it's a bad idea. 

But God always always reminds me. That I'm here for a reason. I still don't know what the big picture is, but I do know I'm an important colour. 

One of those nights...

where you can't help overwondering...

can't help overthinking...

overanalysing... 

Why does God put great people in your life, and take you away? 

Why does God put you in people's life, and move them away? 

When does this end? 

How come everyone knows where they're from, but you don't.

How come everyone knows where they belong, but you don't. 

How come everyone knows where they're going, but you don't. 

One of those nights... 

Where you ponder. And think. And attempt to analyse it all. 

Dear God, 

Where am I supposed to be in this big plan of yours? 

“It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one.”
― George Harrison

I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours and You are mine

****************

current fave. 

and so thoughtful at this ridiculous time in the night. 

Hellooooo darlings! It's been a while. I'm sorry I've seem to have fallen off the face of the internet world. But really, I'm still clinging on at the edge of its cliff, kicking and fighting. [HIIIYAHHH!] Hehe. Finally found some time out to actually sit down and blog. Haha.

Sooo... story time. :D

Perth has been growing on me. I mean. It took a while. But then you eventually get use to the life here. Initially it felt like I was racing against a day to day timebomb. I mean how do you get to everything before it closes at 5pm?!! *mock horror* Living in Singapore has NOT prepared me for this! Finding anything 24 hours here that closes at 10pm, feels like a miracle. Haha.

If that is not enough, it's winter here.... and I havent had that since UK... Which is a very long time.
P.S. contrary to popular belief, winter doesn't mean there has to be snow.
P.P.S. Just because it says 16ºC doesn't mean it feels like your a/c at home. It is NOT the same kind of cold. It is a bone biting, teeth chattering kind of cold.
Bottom line: If you've been staying in tropical weathered countries like I have, and you get cold as easily as I do (Anybody? Nobody..? Just me..?), and people told you it wasn't really that cold... Well... winter's gonna punch you in the face. Or maybe that's just me.... *awkward turtle*

But I guess, after a while, you adapt. And that's good I guess. It's weird though. I felt like I've adapted here faster than I have to any place I've moved to. I don't understand how that's supposed to work, being without the family and all, but that's how I feel. And now that the first week of classes have started... I'm starting to get into the routine.

********

2 years of certainty... and then what next?

New time, new place. 

New faces, new phase. 

New enviroment, new experience. 

Everything's gonna be new. 

And for the first time ever.... I'm doing this alone. 

No family to fall back on in an instant. 

Go big or go home. 

But I cant even.....

9..

There are those that you miss because of something they did, something they said. You think back, flicking through your memories and suddenly you miss them. Perhaps you miss the feeling they gave you at that point of time more than the person. Then there are those that you miss, without blinking your eyes, without a second thought - like a second nature. You miss their presence, the way they make you feel, the joy they bring you. You don't even have to question their place in your heart and mind. They gave you a reason to miss them without you looking for one. Their presence left a big impression in your heart. Those are the ones you can't afford to lose.

Thoughts:
1. The only thing constant is change. 
2. Complicated.  
3. Commitment is as scary as you make it to be. 
4. 12 days will feel like 12 hours.
5. Who's to say things won't change after that. Maybe it already has. 
6.. Being selfish for all the right reasons. 
7. That comfortable feeling. At the point where you're just happy and contented. And you don't wanna ask for anything more.  
8. Those words. 
9. Life only gets better just before it's time to leave. 
10. You can't stop yourself from doing what you know best. Second nature. 

Headed up to Ipoh on Wednesday night to see the grandparents. Heard that the PSI was at 290 that night so thank goodness we headed out of Singapore for a short while.

While I appreciated the cleanliness of the air, I really didn't look forward to the long bus rides to and fro as well as the lack of sleep on the bus rides.

Thanks to the near death experience on the last bus ride, every time I feel the bus driver breaking hard, I jolt awake (and this happened many times throughout the ride). So sleep wasn't really good, but thank God we got there and back in one piece.

The trip was enjoyable. Missed the Malaysian food very much and got to spend some time with my grandparents before I leave. We ended up having Dim Sum for breakfast 3 days in a row. The horror. Talk about the Law of Diminishing Returns. Ergh.

Reached back to Singapore tonight feeling ridiculously tired. Is it possible to feel jet-lagged from a bus ride that did not cross any time-zones? I have no idea.

Distance. 
To feel safe. 
Sometimes I can hear myself blocking everyone out. 

Cause I don't wanna lose you now. 
I'm looking right at the other half of me. 
The vacancy that sat in my heart, 
Is a space that now you hold. 

Long Distance Relationships (LDR)

Long distance relationships do not just apply to romantic relationships. In my opinion, it takes into account blood ties and friendships as well. So in that sense, we've all gone through LDR. Whether you're the one who's moving or your loved-one is moving, LDR is NEVER easy. Period.

Here are the 4 Main Factors that play a role in every LDR:

1. The Distance
So maybe you don't meet the person every single day.. But there's something about not being able to see the person whenever you like that changes the relationship. Not being able to be there to celebrate when something good happens, not being able to be there when they need a shoulder to cry on... The lack of face-to-face interaction creates many issues. So if your relationship isn't strong enough, it dies at stage one.

2. The Schedules
Needless to say, it doesn't matter where we are, we all have our own schedules. And thanks to the fast-paced world that we live in, our schedules are often packed. Lucky for us, in the 21st century, there's Whatsapp, Facebook, Oovoo, Viber, Skype and the likes to make keeping in contact much easier. If you're fortunate enough, your loved-one would set aside a certain amount of time every so often to keep in contact with you.

3. The Timezone
Depending on how far apart you are, there may or may not be any timezone differences. If there is no timezone difference, well.. you're in luck. One less thing to worry about. But if there are timezone differences,  make sure you don't miss a Skype date because you lost track of the time difference.

4. The Circumstances
Finally, the number one killer, the public enemy, the factor that I hate the most: Circumstances. It really does depend on how much circumstances will sway your decisions. Being in a different place from one another results in self-growth in different ways. As time passes, people change and when people change, opinions change. Maybe after that you realise that you can't see eye-to-eye on the same things anymore. Maybe you decide that this isn't a person you want to keep in your life. Or maybe circumstances just prevents you from allowing things to remain as it is. Bottomline is: the real villian of every relationship will always be CIRCUMSTANCES. 

And I just wanna sink into your crazy laughter

Come on make me feel until the pain don't matter

Every second here makes my heart beat faster

Finally think I found what I'm chasing after.

Come on make me feel alive. 

It's 7.04 am.
I wake up to the smell of haze, the flashes of lightning and thunder and a heavy downpour of rain.
I look out the window, only to be greeted by gloomy mix of orange and grey in the sky.

Can you imagine what it was like to be Noah? Stuck in that ark for over a year..

Yay! Rah got my stuffs from Jipaban! Can't wait to get my clothes. Haha. I should stop shopping for awhile. Or at least until I get my angpao money. Hehe.

Surprisingly enough I'm actually looking forward for Chinese New Year. Can balik kampung! Peace and quiet for abit. :)

Anyways I just watched this CNY video from JinnyBoyTV.  Kinda random. Kinda funny. Kinda cute. Or maybe that's just me.

(P.s. This was actually quite hard to find)

I choose to be happy. :) 

This song always makes me smile. Haha. He sings so well live! Love it! 

Random thoughts of the day

1. My recent crazy spendings.  I think I'm trying to compensate for all the stuffs that I wanted all my life but never had. I'm also currently crazy obsessed with finding the perfect peplum. Haha. Hopefully I'll stop soon. And all I need is to build up my wardrobe of bags and shoes. Also, I've turned into such a girl in the last 2 years. Kinda scary. Haha. I didn't use to care this much before. 

2. Distilled water tastes so much nicer than tap water. It makes drinking water so much more enjoyable. Ok.... Maybe that's just me. *does the awkward turtle*

3. I'm currently super motivated to keep up with my get fit goal this year. Eat healthy. Exercise. Drink more water. 

4. Sometimes the ones that look the strongest on the outside are the weakest deep inside. 

5. This blog post is so random. I don't even know why. But yeaa.. Sometimes I need to be random. 

Being Random at 1.30am on a Sunday Morning Because I Can't Sleep AGAIN

1. I can't sleep eventhough I'm extremely tired. 7th night already. :((((
2. I'm craving pizza AND sushi right now. At this time. Unbelievable.
3. Been feeling very unhealthy because I've been eating like an everlasting blackhole for the past few weeks.
4. Been rushing assignments and studying like mad recently. Feeling very out of the loop/very out of sync/very out of touch with whatever's being going on with whoever. Hate that. :( And most of the time when anyone tells me anything, I think I'm half asleep. :((
5. Orange juice > Apple juice
6. Dogs > Cats (I want a Jack Russell even though I've been warned they're super hyper)
7. I LOVE dogs. But.... I'm actually scared of them..... Yeaaa. I know. I'm weird.
8. I'm having mixed feelings bout university. :/
9. I can't wait for exams to be over! There's so much I can do!
10. I wanna get married on the beach. Lol.

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