The truth is..

We are difficult people to handle. We may seem open and so straightforward. If you knew not to take everything at face value, you would know. We're not such simple people. We are complicated. Confused. Messed up. Broken. Vulnerable. Scared. We are the walking contradictions that you need time to understand. We're never that simple. Life taught us that being simple makes us an easy target of hurt.

I don't want to get hurt. So the defenses build up. Numb yourself. If you can't feel, you can't hurt. Don't let your guard down. Even when they seem to give you a reason to. Keep your guard up and see how long they fight for you. If they don't fight long enough, they're not worth it. They can't handle you at your worst so why let them stay?

One of those nights...

where you can't help overwondering...

can't help overthinking...

overanalysing... 

Why does God put great people in your life, and take you away? 

Why does God put you in people's life, and move them away? 

When does this end? 

How come everyone knows where they're from, but you don't.

How come everyone knows where they belong, but you don't. 

How come everyone knows where they're going, but you don't. 

One of those nights... 

Where you ponder. And think. And attempt to analyse it all. 

Dear God, 

Where am I supposed to be in this big plan of yours? 

Faith

Noun
1. Complete trust or confidence in someone or something.
2. Strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.

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Hebrews 11:8-19

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going. ⁹ And even when he reached the land God promised him, he lived there by faith—for he was like a foreigner, living in tents. And so did Isaac and Jacob, who inherited the same promise. ¹⁰ Abraham was confidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God.

¹¹ It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise. ¹² And so a whole nation came from this one man who was as good as dead—a nation with so many people that, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore, there is no way to count them.

¹³ All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it. They agreed that they were foreigners and nomads here on earth. ¹⁴ Obviously people who say such things are looking forward to a country they can call their own. ¹⁵ If they had longed for the country they came from, they could have gone back. ¹⁶ But they were looking for a better place, a heavenly homeland. That is why God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

¹⁷ It was by faith that Abraham offered Isaac as a sacrifice when God was testing him. Abraham, who had received God’s promises, was ready to sacrifice his only son, Isaac, ¹⁸ even though God had told him, “Isaac is the son through whom your descendants will be counted.” ¹⁹ Abraham reasoned that if Isaac died, God was able to bring him back to life again. And in a sense, Abraham did receive his son back from the dead.

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Bible study in the morning then headed to Out of the Pan @Raffles City to quench our thirst with Aunty Renee, mummy and a sleeping Aidan. :) Initially we wanted to order one sweet crepe to share but since DBS credit/debit card holders could enjoy a 1-for-1 promotion for crepes and waffles, we ended up with two. :)

My Freshly Squeezed Mint Lemonade :)

Tiramisu Crepe!
Loved it!

Rum & Raisin Crepe

Home after that for a chill evening at home. 

The countdown begins...

2+ months before the next move and I can't help but feel the familiar sense of apprehension. What are the chances that this move will be as good as the last?

As the time slowly ticks by, the mixed feelings begin to increase immensely. On one hand, I'm excited. It's gonna be the first time I'm moving without the family. It'll be a journey of my own. An adventure. My chance to grow as a person with lesser influence from them... Ironically, the factors that make me excited are the same factors that make me dread this move. What if things don't work out like how I dream it to be? I think one of the things that scares me the most is how much I might change. What if I don't like future me...? So many questions and uncertainties. 

This is the stage before the move where you begin to treasure all the moments so much more. You appreciate the friends, the company and the memories so much more than before. All you want to do is make memories to last a lifetime because after this, things may never be the same. And it gets me every time... I hate this part right here, but I love it at the same time. Every thing means much more at this point. You love more, you live more. 

Tick tock. Time moves on... 

Friendship  Noun The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. A relationship between friends.

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Friendship is a queer little element of life. The definition of it is so simple yet the notion of it is much more complicated than you think. So maybe right now you're wondering why I'm talking all weird and funny. But if you has a many thoughts running through my head as I have, you would want to verbalise it.. Or at the very least, type it down.

There are many different types and formats of friendship.. This is a list of the different kind of friendships that I cherish the most.. 

1. The "best" friend. You might as well be blood siblings. This is the kind of friendship that would drive your parents up the wall and onto the ceiling if you were born as siblings instead of best friends. The duration of the friendship may not necessarily be long but you've learned to accept each other for the good, the bad and the ugly. You go from totally bimbo to downright serious in your conversations. You entrust the secrets of your entire life - past, present and future - into their hands. They know so much that they have what it takes to make or break you, and despite all that they choose to be one of the necessary pillars in your life. This kind of friendship will last as long as both of you are determined to make it work. (Kind of like a relationship. Haha.)
2. The soul mate. This is the one where you meet and feel the instantaneous click. You have instant chemistry, there's the totally cool (and sometimes freaky) moment where you realise you have a million things in common (ok.. I exaggerate a wee bit), you think alike, you dress alike, you're unafraid of being your true self in front of them - be it crazy, dramatic or downright silly, you can share your heart out without worrying that they may think of you differently and somehow instead of the short time that you've known each other, you feel like you've known each other forever. 
3. The "long distance" friend. You probably live on separate ends of the world (or maybe just different countries) and don't talk to each other everyday but the moment you  meet, it feels like you were never apart. You catch up and fill each other in on the details of what has happened since the last time you've met and you can just share your thoughts and heart but it's never awkward. These friendships are simply amazing.
4. The "one time" friend. They not be in your social circle or maybe they are but they're not one of your closer friends. However at one point, you had a memorable moment or conversation with them. Something that will forever be etched in your memory and you can't forget it, but you know that such a moment won't happen again. 
5. The "for the moment" friend. This is the kind of friendship where at some point, you had a good friendship and yet somehow as time (and/or distance) goes by, you start to drift apart and deep down you both knew it'll happen all along and that it was unavoidable - it was just a matter of time. One day you'll wake up and you'll realise that you've stopped talking all together and yet it's just the way it is. 
6. The "you're like a brother to me" friend. In this case, either you've bro-zoned the guy or he's bro-zoned you (which basically means he sees you as a bro/dude rather than the chick you truly are. HAHA) Usually in this case, it is a good thing, especially if you're the one doing the bro-zoning, simply because some guys are just meant to be bros that you can pour your heart out and share your thoughts with as well as give you a guy's opinion. Being bro-zoned by certain guys may be a good thing. However, when you get's bro-zoned by your crush/eye candy/type, it may not be the best feeling in the world. In your mind you'll probably be yelling "why me?!!" most of the time. (Haha)
7. The "you totally know how I feel" friend. This person may be your best friend or soul mate or someone else entirely, but this person knows exactly how you feel. You will talk on the same frequency, respond similarly and you'll be so in sync that it sends you up to cloud nine in an instant. With such friendships, you can talk about anything under the sun because you can click with each other. 

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So these are the 7 types of friends that I cherish most. 

I feel like I've written an entire essay! (When was the last time I wrote so much?) 

But here are my final words for this post. These friends are the ones that brighten up my life, been with me through my up and downs, picked me up when I fell, rejoiced with me through the happy times and they make me who I am. ❤ 

3CK

Found this video.

It speaks everything I felt, everything I thought and everything I wanted to say but couldn't.

http://vimeo.com/adrianbautista/sowhereshome

Welcome to my life.

This is who I am.

I'm a third culture kid.